The possible impact of Miracle of Love.
The possible impact of MOL-Guidance
A closed structure, like MOL seems to be according to the stories of ex-MOL clients in my praxis, will not allow any real criticism or deep emotional contact with critical thinking minds outside the cult. They don’t even seem to want to see any real emotional attachment between the people within the cult. Why? Well…because this would be a threat to existence of the cult-structure, according to my opinion.
As I told within the chapter: “ Language, manipulation and illusions”, according to the experience of one of my clients, coming from MOL, the MOL seems to have found a cruel ( I think ) solution to the sometimes growing attachments between people inside the structure: guidance: They will tell them f. i. that for finding the way “ home”(in MOL-terms this means god..after-life, according to my understanding of it)they have to let go of this kind of attachment…Love and friendship are, according to MOL-principles, just “illusions”. To “help” people let go of their boy/girl-friend, they’ll give them “ guidance”.
That guidance, although the word itself sounds nice, seems to be in case of letting go, nothing else than real psychological torture and abuse. That’s at least how I understand the story of some clients in my praxis.
There are other cults, known to me, which show a same kind of, what I think of as a cruel activity like this “guidance of the MOL”. They also associate that cruelty with a nice word….And that seems to be..again..a language-manipulation-trick to create “the invisible barrier of miscommunication”.
If that is the case it will work like this: When somebody uses, for example, the word “guidance” towards a victim, meaning to say he/she wants to help the victim in his/her search for a way out, assuring the victim that he/she can have the trust that is necessary …….the victim might react with the emotional pain that has been associated with the word guidance…..and run away. If that happens, these words have so-called “triggers”. This running away or closing-up or shut down can also appear because of other words which might have triggers like that: love, friendship, care etc…. This running away/closing-up/shut down is one of the biggest nightmares of people who try or have tried to help their dear-ones out of a destructive influence, I assure you.
But it is even worse for the victims themselves. They may be confused, need comfort and love from dear-ones while on the other hand they are too scared and/or shut down to get the love and friendship that even often stands just around the corner.
If these triggers work….and if the outcome is that in spoken words the victim doesn’t want to have any contact with his/her helping-somebody ….the helping-somebody has no other options than to respect that choice….and…wait….despite feelings of restlessness, worries, sadness…..and maybe worse….waiting is the best thing to do…because that is the best way to show the respect the victim didn’t get in the cult..and surely not within the “guidance” if it is like people have told me about it.
Reliving pain from a cult-period can be o.k. if the victim copes well and doesn’t isolate him/her-self too much, meaning:..if the victim doesn’t really run away.
In my experience, writing down the emotional pain, writing down exactly what happened when the emotional pain came…in the right order…might be very helpful. The idée of this is, shortly, that the emotional pain, sitting in the limbic system of our brains, will slowly get into the higher places of our brains, just by writing down…using language…and the coping will go better…little by little.
