Trying to get someone out of the destructive influence of a destructive cult,
is not an easy thing to do. Not even for a professional exit-counseler.
Sometimes I’m working on it together with a cult-victim.
Sometimes I am educating family and/or friends in the art of approaching
their loved-one who is living under the strong influence of destructive cult-tactics.
In both cases I’ve experienced successes and failures during such
intervention-processes…the ups and downs of cult intervention.
When everything goes the way it should go, everybody is hopeful and happy.
Nobody thinks of stopping the intervention-activity.
But in nearly every intervention-process, there comes a moment..
or no..more moments, in which the victim seems inaccessible.
When you still try to approach at such an inaccessible-state, you’ll meet
the nasty reality of coerceived persuasion-techniques. You will get the feeling
your head is blown of and feel the existence of the persistence of
coerceived persuasion deep in your heart and soul.
Not giving-up on the person in the cult after such a de-motivating experience
is one of the most important tools for a possible success, only maybe,
somewhere in the future.
Keeping in mind how deep coerceived persuasion-techniques can get into
the mind of a human being, being aware of the way this kind of manipulation
works and internalising this knowledge into your perception of a shut-down-situation
will help you go through turbulent times and keep your motivation alive.
This attitude comes nearly to the same thing as an unconditioned positive loving attitude.
This attitude can be a healing one, but….the problem of this attitude is, that it can be
a destroying attitude as well.
Why and how?
Well, I’ll try to explain this as follows:
Most victims of coerceived persuasion techniques from a cult, have met the deceiving
love-bombing tactic in the period they were being recruited for the cult. Once in the
cult they will have met the period in which love and attention have been replaced by
psychological (and sometimes also physical) torture. No love..no attention.
They will have been victimised by the use of “reward”: “love and attention”,
in case of conforming their attitude towards the rules of the cult and ‘punishment”:
rejection, out casting, torture, missing love and attention…in case they’re being rebellious
and not conforming their attitude towards the rules of the cult.
The real love and attention from someone outside the boundaries of the cult, might trigger
the emotional pain caused by the deceiving and twisting love-bombing/(psychological) torture
they have experienced within the cult.
Frustrating….yes….Only knowledge, persistence and the really same unconditioned positive attitude
will keep you and the process going…..according to my perception.
Not the successes or the failures during the process are crucial for the success of cult-intervention,
your persistence to go on…nut to give-up…rooted by internalised knowledge, will and
a nearly unconditioned positive attitude will be of crucial importance for a possible success
of cult-intervention….according to my perception.
Sometimes a cult-victim stays in that so called inaccessible-state…no matter what you do.
Sometimes a barrier of miscommunication ruins everything you have built up with such a victim.
Sometimes a regular normal human conflict disturbs the communication and contact for a while.
Maybe your heart will feel like a heavy stone in your body, maybe it even feels broken…but please:
Don’t drown in the frustration and pain of such happenings. Keep on flying!
Be sure to keep your door open. No matter what happened/happens…just keep your door open.
“ Look into your heart”, when this isn’t easy…and try to keep on listening to it with a little help
from the knowledge of the possible impact of coercived persuasion techniques etc.
Listen! Keep your door open and what is also real important: Keep on flying!
You cannot afford to drown in misery when something goes wrong,
because you have to be a strong personality in order to be able to give a victim of culttactics a safe home.
Now my wish:
I wish freedom of mind, freedom of speech and an own identity for every living soul on earth.
In case of people having lost this kind of freedom and their identity, I wish there will be enough people
with the power, will, knowledge, unconditioned positive attitude with the persistence to keep on trying to
give these people back what belongs to their existence as a human being.
Ocean spirit/Sjoukje Drenth Bruintjes